Lego Jawa Jedi Biography

This story was dictated to me by my son (age 8) and is the back story to a character he created in his Lego Indiana Jones Nintendo DS game. The game allows you to build two new players out of parts you find in the game, including some that were "Easter Eggs", placed there to promote the sale of Lego Star Wars for DS.

THE STORY OF THE JAWA JEDI
by P.M.

Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was the world of Jawas. Evil had come to rise again. The evil was defeated once again by one little Jawa, who took the bad guy's light sabre and took some black clothes so he started to save the world from evil and save his world too. He was brave. He never failed a mission. Most of all, he trusted himself to save the world all with others. It took a while for him to learn how to jump two times. He always knew what to do. He carried his double red light sabre but still, even though evil attacked his place, he jumped into his destiny to save the world. He lived on a Jawa planet but his mother still was dead. So he started to fight for what's right. He always remembered that a Jawan fights back.

Understanding Club Penguin-ese

I created this blog as a place where I could share my children's game-related creations. This booklet, titled "The Ultimate Club Penguin Sayings Guide (and Weird Stuff)", is based on her observations. She hand-wrote the text, which I have typed and reproduced below, in blue. It is a combination of a dictionary and cultural history text. Disney reps, if you are reading this, the ideas expressed in this booklet are those of an 11 year old CP user and reflect her opinions (I have kept her phrasing and spelling intact.)

Introduction
Has any penguin ever said "oh my good" or "what the well" to you? If so, it was fake cursing. You can use it in real life too. But first, let's teach you the basics.
omg = oh my gosh
sys = see you soon
brb = be right back
lol = laugh out loud
Next we move onto more complex short forms, sayings and fake swears. This book will teach you all them and what they mean. Waddle on! (Mary)

Alcoholic Sayings
par = bar
deer = beer
vine = wine

Emotional / Sexual Sayings
seeksee = sexy
dove = love
hut = hot (as in good looking)
miss = kiss

Rude / Violent Sayings
crab = crap
dome = dumb / damn
shop gum = shot gun
hills / chills = kills
did = dead
soupid = stupid
kits = hits
hicks = kicks
well = hell
day = gay (as in lesebian-ish)

Holy Sayings
holly = holy
Good = God
demi good = demi god

Strangest EPF Conversation Ever!
EPF Boss: Herbert's become a menace. We can't take his crab.
Random Guy: Ya! We won't take his crab!
EPF Boss: We have no choice ...
EPF Guy: Sir, you don't mean ... ?
EPF Boss: We must hill Herbert
EPF Guy #2: Or we could take his crab
EPF Boss: What? R U NUTS?
EPF Guy #3: He means we'll take Klutzy until he surrenders.
EPF Boss: Oh! Great plan!

Urban Legends
There have been many CP legends, the golden puffle, the boiler monster, and the secret of the Phone Booth, to name a few. But we're here to talk about the most famous legend. The legend of Shayda the shadow ninja. Now you Non-CPeople will think "Oh it's no biggy. We have Jason and Bloody Mary to be afraid of, right?" Wrong! The CP shadow ninja was killed by a robber and now seeks revenge on all of the islanders. She can walk through windows and doors and kill all of the penguins, babies and adults alike. None of us are safe!

Babies
Now most of you new CPers wonder why the Pet Shop is so crowded. Well the truth is it's not only a pet shop. It's an orphanage. "Abandoned" babies live there until new families choose them as a child. Babies have blonde hair, carry teddies and talk strangely. Here is typical baby speech.

duh duh = dad
woo = you
wammy / muma = mom
dippy = diager
Mr. Butt Butt = butt
Teddy Town = a TV show for babies
baybee = baby
wes = yes
way = yay
wista = sister
broder = brother
wittle = little

The foster parents of CP babies are usually rich. Here is a typical adoption.

Rich Mom: steps out of golden limo from Hollywood. Red carpet roles out. Waves at fans. Is model.
Baby: Oooh! Looks at shining lights.
Rich Mom: Looks for pookie to spoil
Baby: Look at with rare aqua eyes. Is on cover of "pick your pookie" magazine
Baby: Was thrown out of speeding truck. Eyes tear up. Pwease pick me, mish!
Rich Mom: sees. Hi Pookie!
Baby: Hwi mish. Woo pwetty.
Rich Mom: scoops up like ice cream. Whispers softly in ear, I pick u.
Baby: Way! Giggles up strawberry bubbles of dove.

Colledge Students
Most kids want to be teens, think there life will be like a teen drama. Normally, they are wrong. But on CP, your life could be a teen drama about an unpopular girl who's in love with a jock. Some people decorate their iggies (igloos) as colledges, high schools and universities. There's texting and IMing galore, detentions, cheerleaders, proms, bacon, pie and llamas. Don't ask about the bacon, pies and llamas. Not even I, an expert at CP, has ever figured that out. All HS/U/Cs have a popular girl, a jock, a prep, an emo, a detention club, and another mish-mash of random teens. Here is a normal day at a CP colledge/high school / university.

8:30 RUN TO CATCH THE BUS
9:00 Listen to teach go blahblah
9:15 Math
9:45 Trivia time
10:15 Science
10:30 Free priod
10:45 Text my BFF
10:50 Watch weird vids online (Elmo kissing Teach or JB vs Gramma)
11:00 Detention (Put a tack on teach's chair)
11:15 Another kid joins me (sent a video to every kid and distracted them from their studies)
11:55 Finally get out of Detention
12:00 Lunch
12:30 FOOD FIIIIIGHT!
1:00 French
1:45 WRiting
2:00 Free priod
2:15 Listen to Paris talk about how pretty she is (yucky face)
2:30 Dying of boredom
3:00 Gym
3:30 Dismissal

Go back to 2:15. See Paris? Paris, a popular cheerleader who thinks she's all that, is also a prep. Preps are geeky girly-girls (girly girls who act weird) who freak when they break their nails. Trisha (not in the story) is a emo/goth. Emos get overly emotional whenever someone insults their gothy vampire-ness.
NOTE: Vampires are often disguised as colledge students. Oscar (not in story) is a nerd. But you all know what a nerd is, right? A guy with glasses and braces who likes studying. Anyway, this here is the awesomest line ever said about prep and emos.

Guy: EMOS VS PREPS AT MY IGGY! I HOPE NO ONE WINS!

Glamour
All CP girls (most of them being preps) want to be totally glam like those models on Miss America. They prance around in their cheerleading uniforms acting like there better than the rest of us. Here is an example of a CP Glamgirl (in CP speech).

Paris: Hi CP! I'm Paris May Hollister, Captain of the cheerleaders. Flips hair. Applies eyeliner and mange twist beak gloss.
Paris: This is my totally hut locker! And it's pink, has mirror in it and even has my name on it in gold letters!
Paris: My daddy is like so rich, he bought me a BMW!
Paris: Oh my good! I broke a nail! Call 911! Crys!

But fortunately they don't bother us - much. They keep themselves busy with their little fashion shows - mostly.

Paris: Get away from me you emo! Ew cooties!
(sigh)

Concludetion
Well kids, there you have it. All the weird, wacky, crazy sayings and facts about Club Penguin. Now go and play and use your knowledge to help the EPF (forget I said that. There is no EPF. I ... there's no spies! Okay, there are, but dont' tell.) Anyway, keep your feet on the snow and waddle on!
Mary

Gaming is not the root of all evil

In the early 1980s, a movie was made starring Tom Hanks called "Mazes and Monsters". I have never seen the film, but my husband (who I hope will contribute to this blog) tells me that it was created to show the dangers of playing Dungeons and Dragons, how it warps innocent teens so that they lose a grip on reality. As a RPG player for nearly thirty years, my husband naturally disagreed with the premise of the movie.

In the early 2000s, I was asked to present at a board's guidance department-sponsored workshop. My session (Virtual Worlds: Online Youth Entertainment - The Playgrounds, Pitfalls, and Possibilities), I suspect, was supposed to be a cautionary tale of how bullying online can harm innocent children - but if that was the intent of the people that asked me to speak, they didn't get that message shared. I raved about how wonderful the MMOs are for collaborating, socializing, and communicating, with some warnings about excessive time online, privacy concerns, and pressure to purchase.

These two short tales are to demonstrate the philosophical underlying of this blog. Gaming is not evil. In fact, it has a lot to offer people, and not just "educational games".

On this blog, you'll see a lot of creations inspired by games. Our girl and our boy do their own type of research and writing/drawing. To quote my husband, "I don't worry about how P spends his time. I can see it has benefits in other areas. If P is reading a comic book, he's still reading. If he's writing a story about a video game, he's still writing. Both those things are good."